The Split In Gaming (Current Events)

While running through my news updates for games, just searching for a topic for today and while I could have gone with the “Most Anticipated Games in 2019” or wax philosophical on how we are going in circles in terms of remakes and remasters, something caught my attention.

Article after article rolled down my screen that spoke of the benefits of gaming/scholarships for being good at gaming or talking about the darker side of things (Dad beating gamer for ‘beating’ his son in a game, etc.). This division in gaming, while not unheard of, seems to get extremely divisive as time goes on. I mean, I’ve been on the planet a long while now, and I’ve seen pretty much every positive/negative thing I could when it comes to gaming as a whole.

I remember back when I was in high school and Jack Thompson was all abuzz about Manhunt or Bully, I’m not sure but his likeness was all over the place. G4, it being one of the bigger channels for gaming at the time, had host Adam Sessler going to battle against him on TV to defend the violence in video games. While I’m sure this wasn’t the only issue in gaming at the time, there really weren’t too many other things going on that really looked bad that come to mind. I mean at least compared to what we see now.

There will always be issues, there will always be blessings. A Yin and Yang within the gaming industry as it were. As time progresses, it seems that the world has amassed a shit-ton more of both. When we have so many positives, the universe seems to need to adjust and make people do stupid shit regarding the same medium.

Games begin to get noticed as an art-form? Guess this kid needs to SWAT some stranger because they are just the slightest bit better than him at Call of Duty. We start handing out scholarships that encourage someone to go out and design/play video games as a legit job? Next thing we know someone takes it just a bit too far and binges World of Warcraft for days straight without a break, causing their body to shut down and for them to pass away. Hell one of the darkest things I saw while writing this was some sick people using games like Fortnite and apps like Discord to get kids lulled into a false sense of security and get abducted into human trafficking circles!

While I believe in the universal balance, things are starting to get a bit out of hand. I can’t recall a time when things were so grim and on such an idiotic/depraved level. For years, I’ve defended gaming against many slams against the medium, but it becomes very hard when stupidity reigns supreme, taking things too seriously or taking advantage of a system meant for enjoyment. While gaming and game design should be taken as seriously as any other job, for those in the industry, but those just playing it shouldn’t be willing to beat/kill another person because they lost or have to worry that they might not get to come home again.

The worst thing I’ve ever done in anger is throw a controller at the floor, maybe like a foot off the ground. While the souls of inanimate objects have yet to be proven, I can say the floor doesn’t get hurt by being hit, but another human being does. And as paranoid of a man that I am, I have never just accepted anything from strangers online or in person, yet now I worry more about a future where I have to caution younger generations to not be so open on Discord (if it still exists at that point) or not to think everyone trying to be your friend is always decent.

I just can’t stand looking at the news updates where people are taking a hobby, or lifestyle, and turning it into something dark. I like to see the positives. That being said, I have decided that the posts I continue to do this year will all be more on a positive note. I mean.. as much as they can be, if we are talking about personal talks then maybe half positive and half negative. Either way, I’m going to spend my time this year finding the positives, weeding out the good from the bad. I’m hoping by doing that, we can still see the bright side of things during this new year.


It’s Been A While (Non Gaming)

They always say that a good outlet to get thoughts out is by writing them down. At least that’s what I remember a child therapist telling me when I was younger. I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything down, especially in this format. I felt it would be, well a bit like giving up. Of telling people I have issues/asking people for attention.

While none of that is my intention, I mean honestly this is more for me than it is for anyone else. I don’t need/want sympathy or pity. I’d like a lot of things but those are not what I’d want anyone to give me.

It’s been a long year, full of ups and downs. New experiences, some of which haven’t exactly been what I expected life to hand me. I’ve begun paying for some of my older mistakes while trying to learn from issues I created dating back several years ago. This may turn into a rant, this may turn into a long-winded word vomit session and I accept that. To anyone who ends up reading it, I apologize in advance.

As of December’s end, I started my journey through a divorce and it’s been kinda crazy. I made a decision that was very hard for me but I knew for a fact that I needed to do. Living with Toxicity of any kind should not be settled for, it seeps into your very existence and turns you into a shell of your former self. I lived for 5 years with my ex, and the one before that I did the same thing. The toxic trend became something I just thought was natural, something that everyone had to deal with but pretended was fine in the public eye.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I walked away from that last relationship, I could feel a part of my life was coming back to me. Something I missed for so long. So I made myself a promise. I was going to stay single for at least a year, get to know myself again and become less dependent on the affection that left me clinging to previous relationships I knew I should have left.

It’s been nearly a year, it’s been hard. Some days are harder than others. The past couple of days were pretty hard, craving something I’ve been missing but tried so hard to live without. Companionship. I mean I have friends, I have family. And yet I still feel like I’m missing something, which aches a bit and the past week was no exception.

Getting everything out of my head seems to make me feel better in some regard. It doesn’t make things feel less lonely but it does help me share the burden with words.

I also discovered, or rather rediscovered, that I’ve never properly learned to reach out to people. I don’t know the proper way to reach out to friends when I need to talk. I don’t remember if I ever knew, how to flirt with women, or even keep a decent conversation. I’ve had every relationship come to me, so it’s a new concept to me. I am sure I have time to relearn how to communicate properly. I mean, that’s part of growth, I suppose.

My journey may be past the point of beginning, but I feel as if I’ve finally moved past the first steps of this whole process. I admit I have issues connecting with people, and maybe that’s the next step. Getting closer to people, or better yet, being comfortable getting close. The fear in the back of my head is that everything will turn out the same as past relationships keep me from getting close. Guess it’s about time to accept it won’t be history repeating itself.

To anyone reading this, anyone who is having a tough time, just know shit gets better. It may seem like the journey is an uphill battle, but remember that every hill has a peak. Your story is closing the chapter on a dark part in your life, only to start a better one.

Reedicus’ 2018 and Impressions of 2019

What is written next occurred inside the mind of Reedicus just this morning. You’ve been warned.

*Frantically scrambling through emails on updates in gaming* Games, games, games! Why haven’t I written about games in sooooo long? I’ve been going through shit sure but damn… My blog is called Respwn Point. It is gaming, not just for my catharsis. I mean.. catharsis is important and this is a trying time. Buuut GAMES!?

That’s right everybody, I know that gaming is very important to me and I founded this page for the pure and simple joy of talking about games, no matter how rage inducing. I haven’t been on my gaming game lately, hell I haven’t even really sat down and played a game for more than 30 minutes before my funk sets in and I do something else.

While in this transitioning portion of my life is a little crazy but I have to make a promise to myself to keep gaming content coming in. So while I started to mull over what to talk about, rejecting the whole ‘Top 10 Games of 2018’ since I am almost certain I only played 3-4 new games this past year but they were all games that were awarded GOTY or were in the running for it. I figured I would recap some of the better moments in gaming for me from the past year. I also wanted to take the time to express how big gaming will be for me in 2019.

I’m only going to do a Top 5 of last year because a lot of the time spent last year was away from gaming and dealing with… less than enjoyable situations.

5: Playstation VR Adventures

While I personally do not own a PS VR peripheral, my best friend does. He also owns more games and consoles from this generation as well as games leading back to the hayday of the Atari and so on, but I digress.

When given the chance to hang out with him, my buddy likes to watch me as I either fail at playing old school games with no save points (I’m absolute shit at Mega Man and he revels in it), or use me as a guinea pig for certain games in different forms. The past year I was subjected to both horrors and joys of playing some amazing PS VR things. With so little done this past year I’ll save part of this one for a second spot on the list but for now, let’s talk about Astro Bot.

I didn’t even realize that Astro Bot was a staple for the PS4 before I started playing the game. When I donned the headset, I remember seeing him and exclaiming ‘Wait isn’t that the.. Game Room robot?!” to which I was greeted with a sigh and the controllers shoved in my hand. My intention with Astro Bot was simply to see the water level. It was described to me as trippy, your mind thinking it’s underwater because that’s what you are seeing but another part of you conscious mind knowing it wasn’t real. I just had to test it.

I didn’t get to that part till at least 20 minutes because I was just in love with the game as a whole. The happy little robot waving at me when it sensed I was looking at it, to the grandiose scope of the world that surrounded me. I had never felt more immersed in a video game world. I fell in love with a world that I wished I could visit more frequently. When I did get to the water level, well it was very disorienting. You ever hold your breath with video game characters that are underwater? Yeah that maybe by choice, in VR it seems my mind just instantly had to hold my breath. So.. yeah that was a joy.

4: Playstation VR (VR and Not VR)

To continue with the VR shenanigans, my friend just had to see my reactions to Resident Evil 7 and P.T. (ya know, the original Playable teaser for Kojima’s Silent Hills). While RE7 was a demo, and really only took me all of a minute to want to shit my pants. The only downside to me being easily spooked is that it wasn’t the crazy girl crawling on my face that scared me first, but she did get me in the end. It was… *sigh* I can’t believe I am going to admit this, but what scared me the most was my virtual shoulder. That’s right, I learned that while checking for my virtual body while being on edge waiting for something to jump at me, my SHOULDER made me jump out of my skin. Needless to say, I’ll never live that down.

Now my playthrough of P.T. was more nerve wracking, because the game has this way of peering into my soul and shaking me to my core. In VR, having the spirit attack me and get in my face made me wish I had never agreed to try it. Don’t get me wrong, it is glorious to explore, but witnessing something that gave me nightmares for a bit after playing it up close and personal does NOT make me feel safe.

Would I do it again? Yeah… I would, but I’ll wear the brown pants.

3. Getting to Be Spider-Man

Yeah, you knew I would have to mention one of my contenders for Game of the Year here, but one of the highlights of my year was swinging from building to building, beating up baddies, and taking pictures around New York City. This feeling, the joy of getting to be in the shoes of a relateable hero, well minus the spider powers, make my heart swell. It being done well made a few other things swell, wink, wink, nudge nudge. I cannot remember another Hero game that was done so well that I actually allowed myself to dive into head first and just let logic and overthinking fly out the window.

I mean, that was true till I 100% it and then started over thinking and wrote my article on Spidey being a cold, hard killer. But I digress.

Spider-Man 2018 was amazingly paced, as long as you didn’t let side missions pluck at your heartstrings, and minus the Miles/MJ missions that were supposed to break up the action. It was beautiful to look at and was full of easter eggs for those fans who only know the MCU as well as the ones who have been following Spider-Man for years. It was a strong contender for GOTY for me and it helped distract me from the hell that waited at home. I have all the DLC still waiting for me but I have to push through RDR2.

Speaking of..

2. GTA in the Wild West (Again but a Prequel)

I remember playing the first RDR when I was just getting out of high school and going through, you guessed it, a horrible, tough ass, shitty time. Seems like a pattern…

When I was first introduced to it, I kinda rolled my eyes having the GTA craze wearing thin and seeing how Rockstar was the same company, I just kinda scoughed and went on with my day. Then I actually played the damn thing and loved it. I loved it so much and never finished it on one save file. I mean I know how it ends but I never actually got to get there myself.

Picking up RDR2 has given me even more things to kill time with, because even so many months since it came out, and all my friends beating the main story and ditched for the Online content, I’m just barely in Chapter 4. Yeah.. I’ve done side quests, collected all the rock carvings, have all Dino bones I can get without reaching the end to get the last 8, I have killed quite a few legendary animals and, well I have had a trail of bodies behind me for the longest time.

I love this game, I love the toll it has taken upon my soul, and I just admire every nuance placed in the game. Every single thing you can find has a story to that and I fucking eat that shit up. Walking by a battlefield with maybe some bones, a broken wall, and a delapidated building in this game?

A story unfolds and not a word needs to be said. Do that in another game like, dare I say Uncharted, while it is a beautiful game and on of my top 10 of all time, most of the scenes you traverse through fall apart as you go through it, and since the game is highly cinematic, the narrative is already telling you what happened. Again absolute favorite game, but it doesn’t do it the same way as RDR2.

I am glad I have ‘wasted’ so much time in the game and I can’t even tell you if I’ll finish it for another couple months.

1.Getting to Actually Play/Buy games 2018T

Yeah, it’s simple but it’s true. The fact that I’ve had the chance to buy God of War, Spider-Man, and RDR2 this year within a week of their release makes me ecstatic. I have never been able to do so and still afford my livelihood.

I finally found a balance that I could manage entertainment and responsibility. It showed me I could handle it, I could enjoy myself and take care of what I need to get done. While I may have been in a less than ideal situation, it told me I could have my cake and eat it too.

While it may not be much to exaggerate on, I have to say that I’ve never been in a position where I had the money to do so and the mindset to watch my funds so I do what’s right, and vice versa. Having the will to do so and the lack of funds is just as painful. Yet it shows my growth, not just as a gamer but as an adult (which the verdict is still out if I can call myself that but hey).

I’m proud of where I stand and how I can keep gaming a constant joy in my life. 2018 just showed me I can handle both sides of the coin, and for that I am calling this my number 1.

And that’s it for 2018

I can’t thank you guys enough for reading and commenting and occasionally sharing these silly little blogs. I post and hope I might make someone laugh, I talk and hope I can teach someone how to NOT be like me
. I want to take away some of that darkness that seems to shadow the world every day. I want to keep the sadness at bay, especially lately, because the world really does give you plenty to be happy about.

So my goal for 2019 is to keep these posts up. Stay consitent, but not really on a schedule. I think picking certain days kills a little bit of the vibe I’m going for. At least for the moment. So I will post when a bit of news comes along that I feel like I should make comment on, while at the same time giving my spin after doing my research. Before you ask, yes, I’m going to start doing more research, draft writing, and photo editing before post one of these.

While I did before, it was minimum and rushed, mainly because I set a day and ran headlong into the fray because ‘Monday is today! Must post tonight!’ but with a more loose approach I will get back to better quality.

I’ll be working hard to keep the Divorce posts separate but sometimes they may just bleed in depending on what happens from day to day.

Otherwise, thanks again you beautiful fuckers, which I mean with all respect. Let’s keep 2019 rolling forward and hope we all fair better than 2018.


Letting Things Go and Reoccuring Bad Habits

Tonight, I finally started to comb through all the old photos on my previous Facebook account to find the ones I wanted to save from my marriage. To say torture is giving the whole thing a bit of a slap on the hand. My ex-wife had taken so many pictures during holidays, during birthdays, and it was very, very hard to wade through without just scrolling past quickly in hopes I didn’t see something that could make me pause and feel some sort of guilt.

Yes, I said guilt. I’m not feeling guilty for doing what was best for me, but I do feel like I have some guilt over what I have done to the current states of her and the kids lives. Sitting with that starts to eat away at me so trying to scroll tons of pictures from 5 years worth of a relationship made my heart sink.

While I managed through the whole thing, while doing so I kept myself thinking.

I saw images before and after this relationship and the wheels started to turn in my head. What I could be and what I have been stood side by side for but a moment, and at that moment I realized that each relationship, each spiral down, I let go a piece of the bad qualities in me. Each piece that I left behind were like heavy armor that had been weighing me down for God knows how long. I watched as the weight that was lumped onto my shoulders being lifted by unmeasurable amounts but it is always an obvious decrease in weight.

Each relationship has taught me something that made me stronger, made me wiser, and with this last one, more responsible. Each granted me something I would have never had before and I would have never gained if I didn’t get into the relationship in the first place. While realizing this, it has allowed me to see just what I’ve let go of and this gives me freedom.

Freedom To Repeat Mistakes

I know, I know. I didn’t just get out of a bad relationship to make the same tried and true mistakes I’ve done for many years before. Yet, I can feel my body aching to make the same problems over again. Currently, I am in a funk, with all this new found free time, I have no idea what to do with myself. During waking hours of others, I seem to sit and just muddle through the random posts on Facebook or Instagram. Hoping to find something to laugh at for 5 and a half seconds before feeling bored again but unable to think of something to do.

I stare at the limited books on my shelf and just shrug. I see my laptop and think I could Photoshop something funny and yet I have no idea. The only moments I feel even focused or aware of things I could do are when I am surrounded by friends.

Which kinda defeats the whole learn to be yourself schtick doesn’t it? Or maybe I am just missing something, but tonight was kind of eye opening. I still have way too damn far to go to get better, I have a list of things I want to just this year alone, which some might not get done within that time frame but I am growing and I can see just what has changed in me. Hopefully I can keep myself from falling back into the worst of my old habits.

The Journey: Transitions

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus the past few weeks due to a whole hell of a lot of personal issues. To those of you not within certain circles of mine or not connected on my social networking sites, you might be a bit in the dark.

For the span of months, I have been emotionally fighting against a fuckton of existential crisis like thoughts. Sitting in my car in the middle of the night, not wanting to go home, not wanting to talk to the family I had at home. All the while the family I had made at work had been coaching me to do what was best for me, to finally stop being miserable.

So 2 weeks ago (I think, it’s all kinda blurred together), I finally did it. I did what needed to be done for the better, no matter how much it hurt me and those involved.

I am getting a divorce

My marriage was not always bad. At least not that I was aware of, it was only in the last year that all my true issues became problems within it. I became aware that I was no longer in love with my ex-wife, though I loved her as a person, I cared but I also knew that staying in the situation that made me unhappy, that made all my creativity, my sanity, and my energy.

It wasn’t easy on her or her/my family. I’ve been essentially blacklisted from seeing the kids, and in all fairness I guess it makes sense. They had already been through 2 fathers, each biological father for the kids basically dipped out and left her to take care of them. Having me around, the beacon of fatherhood once again broken standing as a reminder would be difficult on everybody.

I have been living with my mom since I moved out, started the divorce paper process (as of today), and started planning a future in which I get to live my own life. If I am being honest, I have never been myself. I never give myself the chance to learn what I would do on my own. I always find myself taking to significant others who cross my path and pretty much demand my attention. As someone who has always had this weird complex of uncertainty, someone wanting my attention has always been a crutch I will lean on instantly.

Obviously, repeating these mistakes for most of my adulthood would make finding some sort of identity is a daunting task. It also has made it harder to keep the relationships I have healthy and good for both parties. I want any future relationships, romantic or otherwise, healthy, happy, and enjoyable. I don’t want my emotions eventually petering out after 5 years before realizing that I had so many red flags in which warned me to get out at the beginning. I don’t want to believe I can’t keep a relationship. I can’t think that way if I am going to be able to recover mentally.

I may be talking super iradically but this, honestly, I’m writing this not just as an update but for catharsis. I’ve been spending the passing days since New Year’s just in a funk, realizing I have this time on my hands and no idea how to use it since, well I never had the chance before. Also because I’ve been sick and that usually drains my body completely.

The long and short of it guys is… well I am going through a very difficult adjustment period. I will probably either be in and out of existence or I will be full force for months before I burn out. I have to get the right formula down and as I’ve never been divorced before I have a whole new set of rules I will be learning. So bare with me, leave me some support, or keep playing Fortnite and not paying attention.

Either way, I’m back for the moment and thank you for the

Unscripted: Reedicus Update

How many times can someone walk away and come back before returning is no longer an option?

So I’ve been gone for just over a month. I didn’t intentionally mean to do so, honestly. At first, it was a a brief break after Spooptober. I figured a few days to plan out some sort of Thanksgiving based articles to celebrate what I am thankful for in gaming/life.

Then I got distracted by… well honestly I don’t fucking remember anymore. Things blurred together, life, work, Red Dead Redemption 2, and many, many other issues. Hell, I can’t remember most of the shit that happened throughout my month away. I’ve been lost in such a weird haze lately that any issues seem to blend into one another. This entry isn’t just about me going on at length about my shit, I have some things I haven’t really talked to anyone about and it seems rather poor to talk about everything here. However, I figure I ought to talk about what I plan on doing in the current month and possibly in the months to come.

First off, I am really sorry for the lack of content. I am sure that some people have been a bit curious as to why I have been away. I will probably talk about everything in due time, but for now I hope you can all hold onto a simple apology and shit ton of me being vague and edgy.

12 Days of Christmas

Most people know the classic song counting down the days leading up to Christmas, partridge in a pear tree and all that jazz. The other night I came up with an idea, it’s more of a Photoshop image a day but I also thought I might as well craft an odd narrative for what the image means or why I did what I did. This idea doesn’t seem too original, but I do think I could have fun with it. This December, I am going to put myself to the test by showing how I can manipulate imagery from the multiverse.

My 12 Days of Christmas will be Claus’ Of the Multiverse. For 12 days, I will peer into the vast depths of the multiverse and bring everyone 12 different Holly Jolly mother fuckers leading up till Christmas. It is something that seems a bit challenging as well as very interesting. Now I am not restricting myself to Gaming subjects or worlds, though I sure as hell will utilize some of the more unique ones that I’ve wanted to see the big guy in. I will start dropping these images on December 13, though I plan on starting the edits a bit earlier so that way I don’t end up behind schedule on the busier days.

I’m actually excited about this idea, I plan on studying a few Photoshop techniques I haven’t used yet in order to experiment and see how I can pull it all together. I hope the end result can make up for my absence.

Future Efforts

Right now, things are iffy at best when it comes to content past December. I really have nothing planned. I haven’t been able to have a full blown plan as far as the future. Like I alluded to before, I have some issues needing to be worked out, and eventually I would like to get a team or group of some kind together to help keep things on track. Getting content, pitching ideas, and so on and so forth. I have a hard time keeping shit together while working 6 days a week and trying to write/edit at the same time. Sure the airport is laptop friendly, but sometimes lugging it through security just isn’t super enjoyable. I still have a few kinks to work out but eventually I hope, for God’s sake I hope, I will have it down to a science.

For now, just gear up for the the coming winter photoshop fun, and a few articles strung in between. Right now, I am going to go spend the last few minutes before I get sleep with either some RDR2 or just veggin.


Spooptober 31st: Lisa (P.T.)

Before we launch into the spooks, let me just wish everyone a safe, fun, and spoopy Halloween! I will be stuck toiling away at work once this goes live but for those lucky enough to be going out and living it up with the undead masses (aka Trick or Treaters or Party Goers), enjoy it!

With that out of the way, I wanted to talk about the one thing in current gaming that has me covered with chills, from my spine right down to my toes. This time, I’m not talking about a trope, following in the footsteps of my Alma post, I’ll be talking about a specific character.

Lisa from P.T.

For those who weren’t lucky enough to play it, P.T. or Playable Teaser was supposed to be a tie into the now-canceled Silent Hills, which was basically a spiritual connecting game to the Silent Hill series. If you really want to know just what the game was like, just do a quick Youtube search and you’ll know exactly where nightmare fuel comes from. This morbidly beautiful creation pulls every classic video game horror trope and cranks it all up to 11. It sets you on edge from the moment you start the game up. While the muffled voices, the radio that once in a while talks directly to you, and the swinging chandeliers are genuinely upsetting, they don’t even compare to Lisa.

The ghostly apparition of a mother of a murdered family, Lisa stalks the halls of the ever-looping house waiting to take you down. A little backstory, Lisa’s husband killed her and her kids before putting an end to himself. Throughout the teaser, you find random clues alluding to her being the one haunting you. Every trip around, your sanity wanes more and more and you begin seeing her standing down hallways. Her body shaking violently, her head jerking around in such an unnatural fashion, which was enough to make me feel completely paralyzed with fear.

The first time I saw her, I couldn’t move.

I stood frozen, with such an intense fear that if I stepped anywhere closer to her she may be triggered to attack me. Finally, after giving myself a pep talk and swallowing my fear, I pushed forward only to have her vanish. Do you think that made me feel better? Did it give me a moment to breathe?

Hell. No.

I was so terrified, afraid she was right behind me the entire time. I spent many moments turning around just to make sure. It was made worse later when looking at my shadow being cast by the lights of the house, instead of seeing my own, suddenly it was hers. The jerking motion gave me the indication that she was right on top of me. Quickly turning around to just take the lumps she was ready to dish out to find that there was nothing there. Yet the shadow was still there.

Further down the line, she does catch you, gripping your head between her hands, showing off her grotesque face just before the giant crack of your neck snapping. But you didn’t lose, you just start another loop. You can die from her multiple times, each time doesn’t get easier, it’s just as unnerving as the first time.

While you traverse the house, avoiding Lisa, you notice the lack of music or anything else besides the cries of the sink fetus (yes there is indeed one of those), the ticking of the clock, or your own footsteps. This is how scares are done properly.

Sometimes you see her outside a nearby window, other times she’s just chilling down hallways you just walked down, floating there waiting for you. You have to then slowly approach her or risk another death. There was even a feature where if you had a mic, you could call out to her. I still don’t know what it added to the experience, but being able to communicate with this ghostly woman isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

Lisa, to this day, can cause me unmitigated levels of fear and anxiety just by thinking about P.T. Oddly enough, when I went looking for info on her for this, my whole body visibly shuddered. If that says anything about just how powerful this spoop was.

If you know someone lucky enough to still have P.T. downloaded on their PS4, play it. Lights out, with your buddies tonight. I promise you won’t sleep, and you’ll make your Halloween spoopy indeed.


P.S. I want to thank all of those who’ve read all the days I’ve done this month. I’m going to try to keep interesting content coming out. Hopefully, soon enough I’ll have a rhythm down to keep the lot of you entertained. Happy Halloween!


Spooptober 30th Jump Scares (Non-Spoopy)

I know this whole month, ya know minus the multiple days I’ve sadly missed, have been primarily about things that are truly terrifying, unnerving, and all around spoopy. However, since I have only two days left to work with and only one day left till the spoopiest day of the year, I figured I’d tackle something different.

There are many tropes in modern day video games that have become overused, one of which is the classic Jump Scare.

Jump Scares, you know that moment when you when the music either flares up or simmers down just moments after an intense musical score, are typically the sudden events right after. The intense screech of the string section followed by.. BOOM! A random monster, person, or object falls in front of you, scaring the piss out of you quicker than a toddler just after changing diapers.

Except, it’s not scary. At least not as much as intended.

The whole ‘unexpected movement’ of a jump scare is so well telegraphed, so easily debunked and analyzed that it loses all fear factor. That music change I talked about?

That is the first and most obvious sign. You notice that building as soon as the scare is about to drop, as it were. The musical score is laced with tones that normally set people on edge. They burrow into your subconscious to make you feel uneasy, and no matter how many times you hear them, you can’t avoid the sudden spike in adrenaline.

Even after identifying it for what it is, the sound still has the same desired effect, but to a somewhat lesser extent. Strip away that sound, go in the situation blind and let that same scene play out. You’re probably only moderately as scared as if you compared it to your first attempt. Sure the sudden jump of something from the darkness is, in and of itself, nerve-wracking but not to the point that video games and movies try to make it out to be.

Hell, there is even a game called Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion and only a small part of it is actually spoopy. It’s essentially a parody of the overused trope, while still proving that when you amp up the horrific imagery and other set pieces it still works.

I guess what I am saying is if I could remove one trope from gaming, it would have to be Jump Scares. The creator of false tension and perpetrator of ‘easy scares’. Sorry Jump Scares, you’re just not spoopy enough. You are a gimmick and have officially made my non-spoop list. So congrats, I guess, for being so mediocre it hurts.


Spooptober 29th: Hiding (General Trope)

The horrors of the night are usually terrifying, this puts a person into a reaction known as the Fight or Flight response. We, as humans, respond by either attacking what scares us or running the opposite direction.

And as a human, I know I feel the fighting aspect of things empowers me more than running away. It certainly makes you look less like an itty bitty bitch baby. (God I will never get tired of that phrase). Yet, if I had to be honest, I have a weird response to scary stimuli. When presented with a stimulus like that, I kind of freeze up. I don’t run, I don’t ready myself in defense. I. Just. Freeze.

This gives me the chance to think, to analyze, and wonder if I should do either action while at the same time not sure if I can move. Those I’ve told this to raise an eyebrow and wonder what the hell is wrong with me, while my best friend has even told me that it gives me an advantage. I don’t see it that way but sometimes I find it interesting. Most of the time I decide to move to control the situation, find a ‘weapon’ of choice and know my next move. So being able to pick Fight over Flight is a decent advantage to me, yet the idea of having to run and hide makes me anxious.

Safe to say, games that hold the mechanic of “You are weak, you can’t fight only run” as their core gameplay bother me.  While the games that do this are great pieces of work, Outlast 1 and 2 from a distance look brilliant. This and games like Clocktower, the dated graphics aside, unnerve me deeply.

A weird man-child looking guy running around with a giant pair of scissors, popping out of random rooms or from the ceiling with no notable means of beating the bugger. Forcing you to bolt out of the room, throw yourself into a cupboard, or just hope you picked the right room that he wouldn’t slink into.

The more grotesque sights seen in Outlast, the weird decayed flesh of human suffering, or a weird amalgamation of hands and feet with a jaw gaping at you while you run down hallways causes me to shudder. It shakes something deep inside me on a primal level. While I can’t explain it in words, the words I do utter would probably make a sailor blush. The set pieces of the dark and empty schoolhouse, to the collapsing mines, that at any moment could fall down upon you make it somehow worse. Wildly beautiful as it may be, it still steals the ability I desire the most. Swinging a bat, a knife, something to, ya know, defend me.

Though that’s the point, that sense of lack of control is needed to immerse people. It is the power behind the scares. The spoop is real because we aren’t in control, we have to then run away from our problems and hope that the bad boys chasing you don’t run 4ks for fun.


Spooptober 26: Cultists (General Tropes)

The religious sector has always been something I was hesitant about entering. Hypothetical or otherwise. Yet modern day religions all pale in comparison to what we’ve seen in the independent ventures of Cults.

Video games paint a pretty terrifying picture of what religious gatherings could be. Not saying that they don’t exist in reality but things tend to get very and very dark. From human sacrifices to unrealistic lore about a demonic god controlling everything from the shadows, and even culling the number of innocent people in order to fulfill prophecies.


Games like Outlast 2, a game in which two cults rage a losing battle between ‘the true god’ and the antichrist not yet to be born. While I haven’t played the game, I have watched a full playthrough and I can say I’ve seen enough to say that shit is fucked up. Keeping the schoolhouse flashbacks out of the equation, the schism between the cultists puts me on edge. Having a man running a ‘Christain’ organization that claims he was spoken to by God to gather people, sleep with all the women and then their children, then guided to kill the babies because they could potentially be The Antichrist. The other faction believes the baby Antichrist is the true god. It gets violent, horrific, and pushes people into doing things no human should.


Then you have cults like Unitology from Dead Space. Yeah, I know a Dead Space reference so close to another one, but we’ll live. The Unitoloigists found the alien artifact on Earth, dubbed the Marker. This artifact gave humans the chance to give the idea of a god even more power, claiming they were actually aliens all along. This cult gained so much of a following that it made way for mass suicides and human sacrifices. To make matters worse, there was more than one Marker, making this religion spread like wildfire. The more markers found in the galaxy, the more proof that God was communicating, sending a message. The markers basically sent off low-level waves that caused people to hallucinate while it released an alien contagion that killed the living and reanimated the corpses. To some, the hallucinations were signs from god and people rising from the dead were the miracles. It only fanned the flames, creating more fanaticism.


My final mention just so happens to be one from my favorite series, Fallout. The Children of Atom are down right nuts. Now, they may not be cultists in the normal sense, not in a spoopy way, but what they do is just as terrifying. They believe that god, or Atom, is the raw nuclear energy that comes from the fallout from the bombs dropped. They base their camps around highly irradiated sites, soaking in all the rads while being seemingly unfazed. While if the main character wanders through it, they nearly die from exposure in seconds. In Far Harbor DLC for Fallout 4, they go so far as subject the people who want to join them to drink nuclear waste. This would then lead to a vision and probably a ton of internal tumors and pain. This is a group who obviously knew that the power of the atom bomb caused the world to fall apart and killed possibly millions, and yet decide to live next to the nuclear shells left behind, just to soak in Atom’s light.

I am so glad that I don’t subscribe to groups like these because I know my life wouldn’t be safe anywhere near these groups. Also, I’d be too afraid to do anything at all around people with such religious devotion while they mindlessly slaughter people.